Castration; Kinder Morgan’s TMX Pipeline “Controversy” Simplified

As few have time to go into the minutiae of the ins and outs of Kinder Morgan’s TMX pipeline controversy, I’ll simplify the opposition to it in terms men can understand: male castration.

A specialist recommends you undergo castration. You attend the review panel to check if this procedure is correct and find the same specialist on the review panel. The review panel is also limited in scope; it‘s not allowed to consider the emotional and psychological effects of castration.

Bizarre, no?

As you haven’t been lobotomized, you have serious concerns the deck is being stacked in favour of people who love to castrate. It’s fast becoming your worst nightmare.

But you get lucky. A new Chief Medical Officer rides into town and promises a brand new review process.

Relieved, you go about your business only to find the New Chief Medical Officer doesn’t go ahead with a new review process, but a side consultation with one purpose: to approve the old review to castrate.

WTF, you may say.

The Chief Medical Officer, now firmly in control, says sorry, we have to castrate you because we didn’t castrate this other guy, it’s all about balance, we have to keep the castrators happy too.

Double WTF, you might say.

As for the emotional side of things, don’t worry he says, he has a plan. We’ll help you out later. We’ll conduct tests on this guy on the other side of the country and they’ll be totally applicable to you, because you’re the same, I mean you’re both men, how can it go wrong?

And the psychological pain? He has a plan for that too! As a country we have a threshold of psychological pain, and we haven’t reached it yet. Even if you undergo castration, he reassures, we’ll safely be in the limits of this threshold. Yes, we’re becoming a basket case but we can cope; I mean it’s a sound plan for those fond of castration.

Oh, and by the way, you can’t refuse, because if your castration doesn’t go ahead, all the human bodies in the country will fall apart and you will bear sole responsibility.

And you wonder how that can be true, when five minutes earlier he told us all of our body parts are working so well, it's the best body in the G7.

And it's only then you realize, you've become the sucker in someone else's parade.